"My Ivory"

            A "shush," a quiet whisper, a shrieking silence: the symptoms of a heart in the darkness. A lost heart is equivalent to a soul lost in the river. "We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness. It was very quiet there. 63" As the ivory hunters paved their way through the river in search for Mr. Kurtz, Marlow struggled, for he felt he had lost his heart forever. What is the cause for a lost heart? Is it an ignorant and disoriented heart? One that lacks purpose and love?

An awakening is defined as a spiritual revival. An awakening orients the heart into fulfillment. Marlow and the society he represents have forgotten the true meaning of life. These people's minds preach materialism and the retrieval of power. However, a superficial life will always lead to a dead end. (Just like Mr. Kurt'z life is coming to an end.) This is because there is an actual limitation to the amount of money, power and fame a person can own. At the end of the road, when there is nothing else to own, what else is there to live for? Mr. Kurtz is a symbol of ultimate material obtainment.

When Marlow decides to go in search for Mr. Kurtz, he travels many nights. As he paddles under the dull moonlight, he notices "not the faintest sound of any kind could be heard. You looked on amazed, and began to suspect yourself of being deaf–then the night came suddenly and struck you blind as well. 71"

Your body is connected to the world by your senses. You know you are alive because you can feel, smell, taste and and see. However, when these senses become numb, how do you know you are alive. Marlow was feeling numb, he was feeling dead. The idea of mortality is paralel to the sensations of a heart in the darkness.

Marlow, Mr. Kurtz and all white men's search for ivory is because it is the only way they can grasp to reality. Without ownership they feel a lack of control over their lives, thus loosing a heart. Through materialism man searches to fill in gaps. Gaps: the deficiency of moral indignation in life. This can be seen transparently, "My ivory...my intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my –everything belonged to him. 89"