Dear Mr. Ferrebee,

           Although my essay of The Stranger was an improvement to the previous one, I do have some things to work on. For instance, many of my sentences have an ambiguous structure. “Meursault was not able to absorb the idea of conforming part of anything, not even the present; until he discovered that death tied humanity together.” After reading this sentence, I noticed my ideas aren’t quite clear or concrete. I can infer that before writing I don’t know what I want to say. Even though I am determined to develop my central topic is in the essay, I barley have any supporting ideas. The lack of variety of thought leads me to commit such mistakes. I don’t make sense, and I simply end up building a grammatically wrong sentence. In addition, many of the words I use to describe “key concepts,” aren’t of best fit. “Meursault understands that everything in life has one destiny and that both the present and the past are the roots that lead this origin.” Throughout this sentence, I detected that some words could have been removed (wordiness: everything, both the, that lead, etc.) Also, this could have been composed into two different sentences, for they are two separate ideas. Nonetheless, the word: destiny is not appropriate. “Finality” could have assembled a more significant idea. Finally, for the upcoming essay, I must be aware of word usage and sentence structure. Most importantly, it is vital for me to establish my ideas and details to support them before writing.

Thank you,

Stephanie Vainberg